Green Is The New Tan

The legs are looking a little pale. With my recent introduction to skin cancer, I am all about staying out of the sun. But since I am also all about looking good (or at least the attempt) it’s time for some sunless tanning.Even if there weren’t endless rainstorms in Calgary this month and real tanning was actually an option, St. Tropez promises to give that glitzy glam beach glow the safe way — in a bottle. Looking to boost their brand beyond Brigitte Bardot beauty currency, the company has recently named Kate Moss as the face (and body) for their first-ever global advertising campaign.If it’s good enough for Kate, it’s good enough for me. However, my own application wasn’t as fabulous as this photo, courtesy of St. Tropez. I started with the Bronzing Mousse on my left leg, figuring that it must be for a light or medium tan, even thought the bottle doesn’t specify. Just like Kate probably did until this concerned lady caught up with her, I completely forgot about the applicator mitt. It seemed like I was using way too much. The mousse gooped around in an alarmingly dark brown color. I didn’t try very hard to spread it evenly and was sure I would end up with terrible streaks. Still, the St. Tropez smelled better than any self tanner I’ve used, drying very quickly. Despite my haphazard approach, my tan ended up looking incredibly natural. Except for my ankle. It kind of looks like I threw mud at it. I have only myself to blame. But it was inspiration to use the mitt for the Self Tan Dark bronzing lotion on my right leg. Even though I noticed the lotion was dark green coming out of the bottle (as opposed to brown, or even orange) St. Tropez had just done such a nice job with my left leg, I persevered. The label says, “Our advanced formulation contains innovative melanin technology,” so I thought perhaps my leg was going Green Lantern en route to the Bronze Age. The mitt was certainly doing a nice job of blending it in. Since I’d used the creamy, fast absorbing moisturizer the night before, there were no weird dark spots. However, as the green color intensified, I thought it prudent to stop at the knee. So I can’t tell you how effective the mitt is with blending color around the ankle. Even though the Bronzing Mousse had almost instantly taken effect with a natural sun-burnished hue on my left leg (and my hands, even after washing with soap, which is another reason to use the applicator mitt, unless you enjoy the just-oiled-your-saddle look) I kept thinking that the Dark Lotion on my right leg must be a two-tone process. After all, it has an Allure Breakthrough Award. But an hour later, there was no other option but to declare my leg green! Like, “Don’t make me angry” green! No girl wants to look like the Incredible Hulk, so I’m inclined to think this is just a freak lab accident. Wait! Isn’t that what happened to Bruce Banner? Maybe Angelina Jolie had the same tanning accident on her left leg just before the Oscars last year, leading to her choice of dress and her right leg’s historic debut on Twitter.

What’s in store for my leg tomorrow? Should I wear short shorts? Is this the start of a new skin color trend I’m not aware of? When I offered to test-drive the tanner, was I signing up for more than I realized? It’s not easy being green. Stay tuned to Blue Besos as I investigate.

UPDATE:  ONE DAY LATER

Yesterday, eight hours after tanning, my leg was still Jolly Green. This morning, it was starting to look tan! Green tinge gone by noon. I will seek answers on the Information Superhighway. Hopefully they’ll travel at a faster rate than the tan on my right leg. And I hope I get the green out of my white bamboo sheets.

UPDATE:  TWO DAYS LATER – ST. TROPEZ RESPONDS ON TWITTER

All tanning products containing DHA have a tendency to go green when they get warm, especially those with higher levels of DHA. This is because increased levels of DHA in heat can cause the red dye to leach from the guide colour so that it looks green instead of brown. Brown is made when you combine three primary colours, yellow, blue and red. When the red drops out you are left with green. The altered guide colour should not affect the performance of the tan. We have found a new technology that helps prevent this from happening and have slightly revised the ingredients for our new stock. We recommend that all tanning products containing high levels of DHA are stored below 30 degrees (as indicated on pack).

They have a note on their Facebook page expressly for this issue, so it seems I’m not the only one. Glad to hear they are dealing with it.