7 Ways to be More Optimistic

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Turn that frown upside down It’s been long and brutally cold winter in Calgary this year. As the calendar officially flips to spring tomorrow, the snow and ice here aren’t quite ready to leave . A recent house-bound week of -30 temps makes me want to flee to Hawaii, but too many work commitments mean sifting through old vacation photos instead. With a long-term outlook that calls for more chilly days ahead, my personal level of optimism matches the temperature.

For a little spring training in harnessing the power of positivity, I turned to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, who frequently appears on CNN and Dr.Oz. She’s a NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist and teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s College. These are her suggestions for turning that frown upside down.

1. Focus on the good.

“Keep a daily appreciation or gratitude journal. When you focus on all the things to be happy for in your life, then more great things come. Think generally. Use your senses. What do you appreciate seeing, smelling, touching, tasting, listening to? Write it down. Within a few weeks you’ll train the mind to pivot to an appreciate thought when a negative thought comes,” explains Dr. Hafeez.2. Make plans.

Making plans to see relatives, a new exhibit or to travel gets our mind moving forward, toward something positive that we can be hopeful and optimistic about. Dr. Hafeez suggests making plans to do 3 things per month for the next 3 months. “Choose things that you know will bring you joy and then go do them! Feeling excited about what is coming and talking about how fun it will be keeps us optimistic,” says Dr. Hafeez.3. Control what you can, delegate the rest!

We get pessimistic and worry about the worst possible outcomes when we realize that we can’t control every detail. This leads to anxiety and an even stronger feeling of having to control conditions, and even others. According to Dr. Hafeez, this is a trap. “Figure out what needs to get done. What actions you can take. Then let go of anything else that is beyond your control with faith that everything will turn out fine. Envision the desired outcome,” advises Dr. Hafeez.4. Limit your news watching and avoid it before bed.

“There is a very common pattern I see people falling into,” says Hafeez. “People awaken and immediately reach for their smartphone for headlines. They then turn on the TV news as background noise. They listen to news in their cars, have news alerts going off on their phones all day, catch the evening news and then the 11pm news before bed. No wonder they’re less optimistic! What you choose to look at will impact your mood. Remember, good news doesn’t get ratings,” she adds.5. Don’t snooze. Instead, just breathe.

When the alarm goes off give yourself a few minutes to just lie there, eyes closed focused on your breathing. Breathe in counting to 4 and then breathe out. Do a mental scan of your entire body from head to toe thanking your cells for restoring you as you slept. “Deep breathing is a form of meditation and in the morning, you have a small window of opportunity to decide what kind of day you want it to be,” says Dr. Hafeez.6. Distract yourself with something that requires focus.

Pick something you truly enjoy doing and do it daily. It can be painting, coloring, yoga, a 20-minute walk or jog, listening to music and dancing around your living room. “When you are fully engaged in something, you can’t ruminate — which leads to pessimism,” explains Dr. Hafeez.7. Make feeling good top priority.

When you commit to feeling good, you instantly start to think more optimistically. According to Dr. Hafeez, when you’re mindful of your own negativity and shift to a better feeling – positive thought – you feel powerful. You’ll feel like you can conquer anything when you can master your own mindset.

Sounds like a recipe for springing into spring! I’m going to try these tips on for size. You?

Made With Love Project

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Even though these waterproof bracelets were made in Mali, they were a marvelous accessory for meandering around Maui. Part of the Made With Love Project, the purchase of six bracelets provides a day’s care for a child at the Empire des Enfants — a center for homeless children in Dakar, Senegal. Fashioned from recycled rubber by women in Djenne, Mali, these flexible bracelets will roll over even large hands like mine. Available in Canada at Holt Renfrew’s H Project boutique. Also available at various boutiques around Maui.

Blue Besos goes to Maui!

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Happy New Year! Blue Besos is starting the year with a travel blast. Future posts will feature dining out in Vancouver, a Seattle girls’ trip and snowboarding in Revelstoke, but first let’s partake in some tropical thunder. Maui is one of the most beautiful places on earth. If your vacation brain has enough juice to plan a few day trips in between those pineapple-soaked cocktail umbrellas, you’ll have the holiday of a lifetime. If you can drag yourself out of bed early enough (perhaps you’re a morning person and this isn’t an issue for you, but a deep love of sleep is my nemesis) a lava hike is a lovely way to start the day. Drive til the end of the road in South Maui. At La Perouse Bay, known for great snorkelling, there’s a lava field that stretches for miles, from the last eruption on Maui. Haleakala Volcano blew her top back in 1490, or 1790, depending on who you talk to. Walking through it is like taking a walk on the moon, except with gravity. Or maybe Saturn. The loose lava rocks on the path are potential ankle busters, so you have to keep an eye on your feet, which is a challenge, because at this time of year the whales are going crazy, jumping out of the water and in general just trying to distract you. Also, be on the lookout for the random goat that crossed my path.Jawz food truck is perfectly positioned for your lava-induced appetite just ten minutes up Makena Alanui Road. A dude from North Idaho, who’s been known to snowboard in Alberta when he’s not hanging loose, serves up fish and shrimp tacos. To be clear, he wasn’t hanging loose over the taco fixings. They weren’t the best tacos in the world, but with some BYO Coronas to wash ’em down, they’re like a mirage come true.Conveniently located right across the road from the taco truck is my favorite beach on Maui. So far. A long, treed path separates Big Beach from the well-maintained free parking lot. It’s also one of the few beaches I’ve seen with lifeguards, who occasionally make ominous announcements via loudspeakers about the spinal injury potential of body surfing.Besides the super-soft sand and the snorkeling along the edges of this cove, the lovely thing about this beach is that it is in a state park, which means no hotels or condos along the shore. The only thing looming behind you is a cliff dotted with trees.But if the absence of beach bars makes you miss the party, there’s one in the cove next door! Accessible by scrambling over a narrow cliff path, Little Beach is a favorite with the clothing-optional crowd…… and the drum circle on Sundays.Back on Big Beach, which empties out quickly at the end of the day, the sun sets over Kaho’olawe, a truly uninhabited island.Next, stroll through the zen front entrance of the newest luxury hotel on the beachfront boardwalk, Maui Andaz, a short drive north in Wailea. Worth walking through just to appreciate the Miami-meets-onsen design aesthetic…… it’s even better if your final destination includes Chef Morimoto’s most recent restaurant in his current world takeover (watch out, Wolfgang). Set poolside between the hotel and the beach, Morimoto Andaz opened in Fall, 2013. Behind that locally sourced tuna and softshell crab rolls is a sake tasting. Oyshi.If the sake gives you a thirst for dramatically lit photo shoots, pause to ponder the infinity pool’s lava rock wall. And check back for mmmore of my favorite Mmmaui days.